1. Snuggle Nest: Forget bassinet or Crib, but you definitely need a Snuggle nest before the baby is ready to come home. It is a cozy little place he can call his own, you can move him around the house with ease and no matter where you are, baby can nap. It can be easily placed on bed at night and baby can co-sleep safely with you for those night time feedings. I did not buy a bassinet and had my baby in this for upto 2 months. And then gradually transferred him to the crib.

2. Diaper Disposal: For me it has been Diaper Genie Elite for three years. No matter which one you choose to go with, you definitely need one from day one because babies start having diapers from day 1 and trust me the first ten days, the diapers smell the worst because of muconium.
I highly recommend Diaper Genie Elite II, it has worked for us for past 3 years ( between 2 kids) and never given away those smelly diapers.

3. Infant Formula and Bottles: No matter how determined you are to breast feed exclusively, sometimes things don't go the way you planned...you are on medications or baby needs more than what you produce. So if you realize at 9pm that baby needs more and you don't have any, that formula is a blessing without having to run to grocery store when you are already exhausted.

A lot of times, when you sign up on parenting websites, you get introductory sample formulas but bottles you need to invest in. Playtex with Liners is what I have used and I love the ease of not having to worry about left over formula, smell in the bottle or cleaning up with brush. The disposable liners are Godsend for working mothers like me and they are BPA free.

4. Breast Pump: Another product that is a must at home is 'breast pump'. New borns are not on a schedule or sleep cycle and there may be times when you are ready for a feed but he is in deep sleep with no interest in feeding what so ever. Breast pump is a great help in such situations. I know friends who left the hospital with some heavy medicines for a week and could not be breast feed in that period and the first thing they had to research and buy was breast pump. You will need one sooner or later so buy it at your own convenience ahead of time.

5.Washed clothes: This includes baby clothes, socks, blankets, towels, bibs, burp clothes and hats. Buy this before going to hospital, laundry and fold them, ready to use when you come back.

 6. Diaper changing products: Have a small pack of newborn diapers, diaper rash cream, Softening cream like Aquaphor, Wipes, Tissues all bought and put away in the area where you and baby plan to sleep. You will need these almost as soon as you get home. You will be waking up for feedings and diaper changes but having things next to you will atleast minimize getting up from the bed.

 7. Swing: Infact swing is a must have I have realized. Babies love to be rocked and having swing from day one allows them to get used to it and gives you some breather. If you plan to buy one on your own, check out the Fisher Price Papasan Cradle Swing, I loved it. It was comfy, had a small light projector under the canopy and best of all, worked both on batteries and power adapter. I had it running sometimes all night and never had a problem.

 8. Lansinoh or breast moisturizer: I say you keep it in your hospital bag as well because vaseline just doesn't work, atleast it didn't for me. You will need it if you plan to breast feed. Also, it is something you can rub on your babies lips if they get dry too.

 9. Mylecon or any other gas medicine: My husband had to make a trip to the store the very next day for this. Babies get gassy easily and nothing soothes them better than a gas medicine. The generic brand at Walgreen works equally good and is much cheaper.

10: Camera: A small point and shoot camera that also allows you to take small videos coz with the baby around, forget the SLR and a camcorder...the picture moments are frequent and pass quickly, you wont have time to adjust those lenses :) Get a small point and shoot and click away making memories.
Above all PACIFIERS. There is a reason they are called pacifiers and they do what they claim, pacify a irritated, confused and upset baby. So get atleast 4 of these and make sure you buy the ones that come with a lid.
No product can replace a supporting husband or partner who understands what you have just gone through physically, emotionally to bring this baby in this world, family support in form of parents or in-laws and friends who come to play with the baby so you can take a nap...as they say that is PRICELESS. For everything else above, there is a credit card :)
The pictures here are the products I have been using and have been very happy with but there are tons of new ones out there.
And here is the link to my very favorite song from 'Tere Mere Sapne'...jeevan ki bagiya mehkegi….it captures the essence of parenthood between a couple so beautifully.

Neel: Rings a bell? The blue powder that mom used to put in water and rinse white clothes in...I wonder why? What was the purpose? In fact I distinctly remember her getting mad at the dhobi that the white shirt got blue stains due to neel. People even put it in white paint when whitewashing their houses in Diwali. I am not sure if it is still around...later a good brand came out with a very catchy campaign which claimed to keep clothes white and made much more sense than that lumpy blue powder.

Maadh/Starch: Have never starched a single piece of cloth in my last 10 years in USA. But I remember getting upset at my dhoban if my school uniform dupatta wasn't starched right. Is it because our American attire just doesn't need starch? I am not complaining :) Usually boiled rice water or sabudana water is used for starch in India. USA does have starching product available in grocery stores.

Using a rag to clean : Don't know if using that same old rag every day to clean, made the floor/counter tops cleaner or actually more dirty..and God I hated that phenol smelling water to disinfect. And to think that hands were used to actually hold and mop floors using that rag...yuck! I prefer the Swiffer Mops here better. But when you don't know any better...you just don't know, right?

Handkerchiefs: When I landed in USA and went out with my cousins the first day, I had a hanky with me. My cousin asked me "why was I carrying a rag around"? and I had no clue he was referring to my dearest brand new hanky. Well, we don't use them here at all though it was a regular part of my outings in India. Hanky set was a perfect birthday gift growing up.

Home made bags/jhola: In her spare time, I often found my mom making cloth bags out of worn out pillow covers, Sheets etc. They used to be durable and good looking, bio friendly and would cost nothing. My dad or household helper would take these bags from home to the market and get vegetables and other stuff in it. And then plastic was invented and everything changed. In India or USA, it is all plastic bags or more recently the expensive recycled bags that are bio-friendly and cost an arm and a leg as compared to those home made bags. I miss those jholas as we called them in Hindi.

Somethings I love about being in USA:

Well, anyone who has lived in India will agree that 'right' and 'wrong' or 'good' and 'bad' are very well defined in the country. At least that was the case 10 years back when I was there as a teenager and to question those and try to switch or step out of those categories was again 'WRONG" :)
Here are some of the rights and wrongs that are taught to us growing up. I never liked and understood them when I was there but once I was away from the country, I just could not relate to it anymore:

Friendship & Dating (Super wrong, specially if you are a girl): Yup! Good girls do not have boy friends. Meeting a boy outside of your home, who is not a friend or rakhi brother...totally out of line. In fact the Delhi government actually launched a sick program called 'operation majnu' where they would lock up couples who were out on a date at Delhi parks. The famous movie Maine Pyar Kiya boasts of a dialogue that says "Ek jawan ladka aur ek jawan ladki kabhi dost nahin hote Prem" and Prem then knows he is in love with the girl. But this is so not true. A boy and girl can definitely be friends..I have had many. I am the living proof :)
Now coming back to boyfriends, don't see what is wrong with that? Indian culture expects a girl to never be with a guy, never date, kiss or touch but then take seven circles around the fire and submit her body, soul and mind to the man she is married to (which may not even be of her choice). That for me is a no no..highly questionable...something I cant relate to or understand.

The fascination with fair skin: India is crazy about fair/gori skin. Again Fair is good, dark is bad is already established in India. I don't know if this love affair started after Britishers invaded India or has existed before that but I know it hasn't diminished. Actresses like Priyanka Chopra star in the commercials that show Saif choosing Neha Dhupia over Priyanka because Neha is fairer and I wonder the message that is being sent to masses. Pick up any matrimonial column and the ad starts with.."wanted a fair, tall bride.." lol
What is the deal with fair skin, folks? Never understood it, and will never be able to relate to it. I am pretty happy with my dark skin and let me say that the confidence that dark is equally good came only after I left India. Isn't that sad?

Kids and their life: I feel like most of the Indian moms are obsessed with their kids. Go to any party or get together and they will not talk about anything but kids. Whose kids got what grades, what are they planning to be..doctor or engineer, are they dating, are they looking for a match...the only idea is to discuss and make decisions for their lives with the help of these strange aunties. If someone's son or daughter is doing a different course or career, these aunties and uncles are quick to dismiss and brain wash the parents even though they may have no idea about it. It is really crazy...there is so much pressure on the kids growing up to not just be best in the class but also be best among the kids from the social circle their parents move around in, that it is ridiculous. The good and bad categories already exist in the sense that doctor and engineering is good and every other career is not good. This is another thing I don't see happening so much when parents in America get together and I really like it that way.

Eve Teasing: We all see this everyday in India...the crowded places like train stations or markets are the worst. When I asked my cousin in USA about eve teasing he said he has never heard the term :)
But I have to admit that in 10 years of stay in USA which included living alone, working alone, walking at nights alone, I have never experienced this (yeyyy). In India it is accepted as part of being a female to a large extent unless it goes totally out of hand...no one frets about it. I find that crazy and ridiculous. Once someone I know is a mother of a 4 year old daughter told me that one reason she would want to stay in USA is so that her daughter does not expect eve teasing as part of her everyday life. I don't disagree with that sentiment to be honest. I have no tolerance for it now that I know of a world where it does not have to be a part of my everyday life and existence as a woman.



Freedom: In a way where everyone is free to do what they want, I always felt bound by the rights and the wrongs, good and the bads..and the need to conform to these pre-existing notions. And if you don't then well, you are judged and everyone and anyone feels that they have a right to come and give you a piece of their mind. And who wants to be the topic of next get together to these aunties and uncles, seriously? The idea of personal choices and space did not exist. I never liked not having it before and now after having it for years there is no way I can give it up. Because I have learn t the theory of relativity :)
My theory says that right, wrong, good and bad are all relative. What is good for my friend may just not qualify as good for me and I get to decide that.  The freedom to be able to understand this and make my own judgment is priceless!

Here is a cool song on "Kayda" from film Khoobsurat:

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Things going/gone extinct in India:

Rasna: Papa aa gaye...coffee..papa ko nahin chahiye...chai..papa ko nahin chahiye..well papa only wanted Rasna after he comes back home in the evening :) rings a bell anyone?
The only cold drink available in the market specially if you lived in a town was Rasna. Making Rasna concentrate and bottle them up was a job assigned to my sister every summer. Later Kissan brought in a few drinks but what really took over Rasna was Coke and Pepsi. Rasna is still around but the monopoly it had then is gone.  But I still think Rasna was awesome. Rasna at home meant it was summers and summer meant vacation and fun, thats how I always have associated Rasna in my memories.


Watching movies on rented TVs and VHS players :  Summer vacation meant that we could finally watch a few movies..I remember that when i was very little, we did not have a TV and we rented TV and VHS player for a few days and watched the entire quota of movies pending. If cousins are in town for summer, we would have movie nights...and all that used to be soo much fun. These days there are so many movie channels playing random movies..but who cares!!! The local video store uncle would recommend the new movies that are out and are a must watch since there hardly were any promos aired on TV as they do today. On the same note, the movie posters played a key role and indicating the Movie's theme and the actor and actresses in the movie. All that has now changed completely.



Chitrahaar & Rangoli on Doordarshan: Something that was not to be missed...no matter what. But we always complained why does it have to be once a week...I still remember how big of a deal it was when they announced that Chitrahaar will now come on Wednesdays and Fridays. It was like winning a lottery. When otherwise in summer vacation, I would sleep till 10 am, I would make sure to get up early so I don't miss out on Rangoli...Sunday mornings.

Doordarshan in general is not the same..the original doordarshan is gone. Doordarshan was about India...it represented something for everyone..krishi Darshan, Nritya ka akhil bhartiya karyakram, Rangoli, Hindi and regional movies, News (that was strictly about news), and social awareness messages (like Ek anek aur ekta). Current channels don't care about anything but TRPs.


Rikshaws: At small places, cycle rickshaws were the only public means of transport. Cheap, non polluting, slow and always available means of transport...but still as if there was an unwritten rule to bargain on the kiraya...rickshaw puller says four rupees and the passenger will always say 2 rupees and ultimately settle down for 3. I have some fond memories of going to school in Rickshaws and getting down with kids to push it (dhakka maro) if we are going uphill on the way.
Although the first time I visited India after staying in USA for a few years, I felt bad for the rickshaw wallas pulling the Rickshaw in heat, rains or winters. (US does make you sensitive to such things). However, auto rickshaws have taken over almost every city and town and slowly Rickshaws are fading away.


Limited Options: We used to get new clothes about 2-3 times a year, had only strictly required number of footwears, limited number of entertainment options, ate only Indian cuisine (that too regional only mostly) at home every day , yes EVERYDAY, took vacations once a year and had even a set routine for summers. And still my parents never failed to tell us that we are so pampered and over indulged.
Today this has all changed...anytime new styles flood the market, kids gotta have it, shoes match the outfits along with accessories (I didn't know what accessories meant until I went to college), everyone has exposure to Indian, Chinese, Mexican and other different cuisines...teenagers fly to Goa to have fun (Thanks to Dil Chahta hai) and have multiple options to entertain themselves with laptops, unlimited channels and games available.
But somehow I loved the childhood I had. Everything was precious, fun and important... and I hope the new generation values what they are getting and cherishes it!

And here are few links to take you down the memory lane:

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